First off this is not a beer post, but I found this medium
the best way to communicate what I need to say.
I will start off with I am not a single parent. I have an
amazing wife and she is my world and our kids’ world. Recently though she went on a much needed girl’s weekend trip to Nashville and then just came back from a week
at NYC for work. During that time, it was my time to see if I could hang with
those that single parent 24/7/365. SPOIL ALERT - no I cannot. I will tell you right now, those that do that
I bow to you. I cheer for you, I look up to you, and above all I respect you.
Moms have many responsibilities in short because society has
spun it that way for decades. Regardless if the mom works full time, 99% of the
time she is doing all the work, or at least it may seem like that. Personally,
I try not being the status quo. I do my best or what I thought was my best to
share the burden of raising a family, and I will be honest, I have fantasized
of being a stay at home dad many, many times. I love kids, I do, but I realize not
everything is roses 24/7. My boys fight, they cry, they get sick, and they need
something from me at the most inappropriate times! On top of that we have a puppy,
a very big puppy - pryedoodle to be exact. She needs lots of attention,
actually she needs more attention than my nearly 8 and 5-year-old boys do. Destroying my yard, destroying my furniture,
bouncing all over the place, tearing at my kids clothing, my clothing etc…. Again,
though I love her too and I get mad but will I dump her on the street for dead??...
hmm NO! She loves us, plays with us, comforts us… there is way more love than
pain.
So, what was I saying? … Oh yes, my wife! Late tonight she
will have been gone for a solid 8 days with a very brief rest at home between
flights (a nap of 4 hrs.). It was all on me to keep at the least my kids and
pup alive. I love a challenge and challenge was accepted. What happened during
that week I am still in shock that I managed to do all this without crawling in
a corner to die.
Here is all that went down some of it was not needed but
some was:
Each day there was a slew of items that always had to get
done– breakfast, lunch, dinner for the kids and pup. Clean up the house and
wash the dishes. Take the wild beast pup out on walk or two each day. Make sure
she doesn’t kill my kids or my trees each day. Clean up the house to perfection as best as I
could on last Friday and Saturday, for the daddies and drafts meet up the next
day. Baseball game on Saturday morning was cancelled (thankfully) because of
rain. Later all the dads came (5 of us) and their kids 11 I believe - some
might be still missing IDK. Thankfully the sun came out and we were able to
bring the bounce house out and let the little ones play on that. They left, and
I then swung by 80s night at my neighborhood clubhouse. Not required but
everyone needs a little me time. It is something I highly recommend. Sunday was
simple keep the kids entertained and alive. Meet up with dads again and went to
local park, then had lunch nearby with them. The plan after that was to take
them to Touch a Truck, but the weather was finally nice, and the boys wanted to
go to the pool instead. After that I had a meeting with my yguides tribe. (Check
it out. This is a must YMCA program), and for whatever reason I was voted Chief
for my tribe next year. Then the work day begins, making lunches each day, for
myself and the kids. My work days were
short because I had to wait till the bus came each morning and then take the
youngest to school, I couldn’t get to work till 9:30, and then had to leave at
3:30 pm to get the oldest off the bus each day then back out to daycare which
isn’t a great location (25 mins each way).
On Monday the odd ball thing that day, was the oldest had IEP meeting at
3:30 and that lasted till 5pm, but he went on the bus, and of course no one was
home. Luckily, I have some great neighbors and they watch him till I got home.
Wife flew in late that night and then Tuesday went out at 4:30 am I think I was
in a daze. The only odd ball thing on
Tuesday was baseball practice, then Wednesday odd ball was kindergarten
orientation for our youngest but didn’t know till last minute that kids aren’t supposed
to go #fail. Again, blessed to have family nearby and got my parents to swing
by and watch my boys till that was over. Bath time oh yes that! Yes, the kids got baths too and they brushed
their teeth. I did the baths every other night unless something awful happened.
Sometimes bath time was in the morning before school and sometimes it was at
night, whatever made me less stressed was the winner. Thursday after work we went
to strawberry patch farm. This farm is more than just strawberries, we got to
see a goat, a horse, and Kevin the peacock. Boys loved seeing the peacock. On
the way home, a little bit of drama as one of my kids randomly started bleeding
out of their nose. It was resolved, and I was able to get all the blood off his
clothes. Side note use OxiClean spray right away. Let it soak in and then throw
in the washer. It got it all up. Friday (today) last full day … whew… ok
working from home. Going to the beach late today. Of course, I had to pack for the
kids, wash all our clothes, find all the appropriate stuff for the beach (cooler,
towels, sunscreen, toys... etc). Did this over 3 days, Wednesday – Friday. Also
picked up anti-nausea meds for the pup, and yes, she throws up in less than 30
min car rides and sadly my Learjet was in the shop so the trip to the beach took
at least 3 hrs. We are not at the beach
house yet but my plan is to take them directly to bed when I get there, have a
much needed beer and go to bed myself. Wife, brother in law, and mother in law will
be getting there very late tonight, which means by Saturday morning our little
family will finally be whole again. (Silent cheers with weak arms a clapping)
That was a very rough summary of all the ins and outs of
what happened in the 8 days I was a single parent. It was fun, but it was exhausting. I learned
a lot of about myself and what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it. I
also learned a lot about how you must lean on others which means swallow that
pride and ask for help. At first, I didn’t think it was much to be honest, but
I don’t think very well. It is blessing and a curse. The only thing I know a
lot about is ways my kids could get hurt, mostly because I hurt myself a lot as
kid and thusly know about million ways to break a bone.
To finish this off, I would like to give a shout out to all
those amazing single moms and dads who do this day in and day out and of course
the stay at home moms and dads too. My mom did that for years with 9 kids. Kept
me alive I have no idea, but it had to have been a team effort. I also want to especially thank my beautiful,
smart, and dedicated wife and all that she does every single day that I never
really thought of fully till now. She is an amazing wife but an even more
amazing mommy. It might be a late Mother’s Day acknowledgement, but I fully (maybe?)
understand all that you do and continue to do.
THANK YOU, will never be enough.
I love you more than any words could ever say.
Cheers!
Ben
No comments:
Post a Comment